I happen to be my own worst enemy and somewhat of a perfectionist/idealist. I have plans for my home, my body and myself that never seem to be played out exactly how I'd like. When this happens I have a tendency to beat myself up a little and feel guilty for not "doing enough" then I have to go back and do it ALL again. It's pretty bad.
I present the following as proof of my condition:
1. I'm on the Sabotage Diet. One day I'll do REALLY well. I'll eat a healthy breakfast with only two cups of coffee, fruit for a snack, a balanced lunch, another healthy snack and then a light dinner. Usually these are the days that I work out (walk in the am and weights in the pm). Then (this is where the sabotage part comes in), the next day I'm like a monster who has been starved for a week and only likes to eat cupcakes, chocolate and fried foods. These are days I don't work out because American Idol or The Bachelor is on and for this reason I have stayed at my unhealthy weight for waaaay too long...the good news is that I haven't gained any weight.
2. The following happens more than I'd like to admit but here it goes: If I don't have my quiet times (QTs) or at least a really good in depth spiritual conversation the fore mentioned monster returns and is cranky, grumpy and really just unpleasant to be around. I've really been struggling with legalism in this area. Praise the Lord for good friends who know what I'm going through and here lately, I've been doing better. The book of 1st John is AMAZING, by the way!
3. My home is never clean enough nor organized just right. I am constantly cleaning and organizing and decorating only to re-do it 3 or 4 days later. My sweet husband humors me and lets me get buried nose deep in filing that I hate to do then comes to my rescue in time for bed (or America's Most Wanted - I'm a huge geek). All that combined with the responsibilities of having a husband and son, with special needs no less (the son, not the husband). Who knew husbands and sons needed food daily?
4. I am currently reading about 6 books: Life Management for Busy Women, Knowing God, How to Read the Bible, Shepherding a Child's Heart, Introduction to Biblical Hermeneutics, and Chosen but Free. I'm pretty out of control here because there's so much I want to know and do! I've gotta start widdling away at these one at a time!
So, now you know how crazy in the head I am and I hope I didn't scare you away! I'm really trying to get all of this under control so I'm a better Christian, wife, mom and a better me.
Here are some short term goals:
1. Walk for 30 minutes every morning for 1 week.
2. Breakfast daily!
3. QT with breakfast - no matter what.
4. Finish Life Management for Busy Women - I think this book is relevant to my life right now.
5. Do what needs to be done during the week and schedule 2 hours to do extra projects on weekends only.
3 comments:
Hey girl
I know what it's like to have all these goals and never seem to get them accomplished! Hang in there and remember..the SPIRITUAL aspect is the core of everything else. If you do nothing all day but spend quality time with God, then you've accomplished quite a bit. Although I think you'll find that when you get on track spiritually, usually the rest seems to fall into place easier! You can do it!!!
Whew. I feel your pain. I have unattainable goals and schedules for myself as well. I'm finding it's great to have a 'no plan' day once a week. One day where I fly by the seat of my pants and dont do anything practical. It helps.
Thanks for popping past my blog and leaving a supportive comment!
Having read this post, I have the same problems as you. I think it is endemic amongst many women who are trying to do too much! You can only imagine my frustration when I see the coat of dust from the reno and knowing that following a quick clean that it will quickly return as phase II starts soon! I keep focussing on what is important: K, N and my dh don't notice the dust; they will remember the outtings, baking and all those other things that I do that they appreciate. There's more to life than cleaning (or so I have convinced myself!!). Enjoy your day!
(PS: WordGirl is on as I'm typing. It is popular here too...)
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