It's been a while... {ethan speaks}

I knew that it was bad news when Ethan woke me up with the phrase

"I was doing a science experiment..."

Be forewarned, all you moms of boys out there - this is not good news.

He finished the sentence with a run-on:

"...and-now-i-can't-get-the-gum-off-the-tv-i-tried-everything!"

Right smack dab in the middle of the tv, I found a gigantic blob of gum.

On the table next to the tv he had his "tools" for fixing the blob: spatula, butter knife and potato peeler.

I got the gum off the tv but the scratches will be there forever.

* * * * *

A lady with very short hair, glasses and a ball cap walked in to Chick-Fil-A,

Ethan looked puzzled and asked, "Mom. {points at her} Why is that man wearing a purse?!"

I prayed she didn't hear and told him that sometimes women like short hair and that he shouldn't yell out things like that - they're better left unanswered or whispered.

* * * * *

"Mom, bad dream volcanoes make red dream bubbles; good dreams come from volcanoes with green dream bubbles. I only like the green bubbles even though my favorite color is red."

Can't make this stuff up, folks. Ha!

* * * * *

We have finally arrived at the days where Ethan thinks that running away will solve all of his problems. Today he threatened to run away to baseball practice (which isn't till tomorrow) to escape my tyranny of "no tv while getting ready for school".

It's a rough life.

Ethan Speaks and Writes Comics

"Daddy.

Daddy, are you afraid of bees?

...are you afraid of helicopters?

...are you afraid of lions?

...big tooths?

...how 'bout bricks falling on your head?"

"Hey Mom, can you see what's inside my head?

Can AJ? How 'bout robots?

Can vampires?

{with urgency} WHAT ABOUT PROTECTOR ROBOTS?!"

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

My son has never even seen a comic book in real life

but has suddenly

decided to write his own comic.

It's about Fire Man and Flying Girl.

Above you can see the author/illustrator Ethan Alexander

working diligently to create literary masterpiece.

...and there you have it folks - Fire Man.

Page 1 of The Adventure of Fire Man {just one adventure I guess} says...

"Fir man flis in uter spas with a komet."

{translation: Fire man flies in outer space with a comet."

And without further adieu, the author being himself...

I'll share page 2 with you all once he writes it.

He's sufferin' with a bit of writers block.

Ethan Speaks - Rainbows and Submarines

We've had something on our calendar every weekend,

so Ethan has had many new experiences and a lot of fun.

Here's what we've been up to.

Eating at The Ponder Steakhouse.

They have the BEST strawberry rhubarb pie!

"Cowboy hats, we don't need no stinkin' cowboy hats."

He got to dance with a "Pwincess" at a quinceanera.

When she walked into the room he screamed

"WOW! YOU ARE BEAUTIFUL!"

He also made his Momma proud by doing a bit of the robot for me.

Got to do some camping.

Fishing.

...and trying on more hats.

~

Our conversation last night:

E: Momma, Eddie moved yesterday.

M: Oh yeah, you're going to miss him, he was your buddy, right?

E: Yes, he moved to Hannah Montana.

M: Really? {trying not to laugh}

E: Yeah! They have rainbows and submarines there!

This morning:

E: Momma!!! I look more like Abraham Lincoln!!!!!

{back story: he wants to be Abraham Lincoln when he grows up}

Ethan Speaks: When he grows up

Ethan constantly talks about what he's going to be when he grows up.

Today, I thought I'd share these with you.

~

When E grows up he wants to be a....

• A cowboy
• Santa
• An elf
• A "tormado" chaser
• An astronaut (so he can shoot aliens)
• Abraham Lincoln
• A Power Ranger
• A truck driver
• A fireman
• A "golf guy"

Ethan Speaks

I haven't been doing a very good job of keeping up with the hilarious things Ethan says - aside from sometimes posting them on my Facebook.

We are now in the days of strong opinions,

overactive imaginations and

thinking he's bigger than he really is.

Here are a few examples....

After being told to stop back talking he responds with-

"When I grow up, I'm going to be a big man and boss my babies!"

~

When asked what he wants to be for Halloween..

"A tormado chaser." Then, after more though he excitedly came to a conclusion "Benny [our dog] can be the tormado!"

~

While watching a documentary on sharks...

"When I grow up and swim with sharks, I'm going to punch one in the eyeball."

~

When asked where God lives...

"In His cabin."