Ethan's Story

Thank you guys for your words of encouragement! You have no idea how refreshing it was to sign onto blogger today and see so many comments waiting for me!



I believe now is a great time to give you some information on Ethan. I'm not the best story teller in the world, so stick with me if you can.



I was working October 25th, 2004 (one day after Ethan's 1st birthday) when I got a call from the local police department saying that I needed to come pick Ethan up, his parents had gotten into a domestic dispute and they needed to do an investigation. This didn't surprise me, I knew this family member and her husband had a drug problem, weren't exactly responsible people and enjoyed World of Warcraft (avoid this game at all costs) way too much.



Anyway, I managed to talk the apartment manager I worked for into letting me get out of work early to go pick him up. When I got to their apartment I couldn't believe the disgusting mess I saw. Moldy bottles and other dishes all over the counter; coffee cans FULL of cigarettes; diapers everywhere (and not the clean variety)...all in all: it was nasty.



The officers let me come in to get some of Ethan's belongings then I headed home with him. The next few weeks of investigation were very enlightening and not in a good way, but the City felt like it was a safe enough environment to let Ethan go back. Less than 24 hours after he left our home, his biological parents were calling us to see if he could come back for a little while longer. Eventually complications from this arrangement would lead to Child Protective Services getting involved.



By November 17th Ethan had been placed into a kinship care situation (like foster care, except with a family member who doesn't get financial support from the State). Immediately we put Ethan into daycare so my husband and I could continue to work. It's really hard to support yourself when you have a 1 year old thrown into the mix and you're no where close to financially ready for it (or emotionally, for that matter).



After he was kicked out of daycare number 4 we had to determine what was going on and we noticed a few different things: 1) He didn't relate to his peers. 2) Had a very bad biting problem. 3) He was very VERY high energy. 4) Seemed to have a problem with anger (at 1 year old). 5) Did not trust adults. 7) He always seemed to be on his worst behavior when he was in large groups. 8) Had a sensitivity to loud noises (vacuums, garbage disposals, lawn mowers...), they would send him into a panic. So, Early Childhood Intervention (ECI) was called in to help him.



Quickly he was diagnosed with ADHD, Sensory Processing Disorder, ODD, and a pretty severe developmental delay. We worked for two years to manage Ethan's disorders through diet, structure, minimalist home environment (no clutter, seriously), occupational therapy...the list goes on and on and on....



Well, after he was kicked out of his 8th daycare we finally got him into a home daycare with only 5 other kids and the Child Study Center in Fort Worth accepted our application for services. The Child Study Center confirmed the findings of ECI and informed us that since there was a drug influence in utero that Ethan has fewer receptors in his brain and that this would be a life long struggle for him and us.



His amazing doctor asked what steps we had taken to help him with his ADHD and we let her know of all that we had done. She then suggested the one thing we had been dreading, but obviously needed: medication. We were so hesitant to put him on medication because, frankly, we were skeptical and felt like it was so over prescribed. But, we knew that if we ever wanted Ethan to function (and for us to keep our jobs!) he had to be on the medication.



Once we had him on his meds and on the right dosage he did very well in daycare. Sure he'd have a bad day here or there and he often had very bad days at home but we were making progress. I credit the Lord the meds and the daycare in helping this little guy. We found Nikki through the State's website of licensed home daycares and after visiting her very clean and clutter free home (and finding out that she keeps a very small number of children) we knew this would be the best place for him.



Two years later Ethan was finally of age to go to pre-school. We knew he wouldn't do very well but since most of the therapy Ethan needs is only available while my husband and I are at work we knew he would be able to get the help he needs through the school system. They just needed to see that he does in fact need the help. We had him tested through the school system when he was three but he scored "between the cracks" and didn't qualify for services. I know it sounds bad that we put him in school but we knew that they would need to see him in a classroom of 25 kids rather than one on one with the diagnostician in a clean and orderly "toy room".


So, back in August Ethan started school and we had to change daycares so that he could be picked up at 11am and taken to daycare for the remainder of the day. His behavior has not improved since his first day of school and his poor sweet teacher sees that there's a problem so she is also pushing the district to get moving on his testing. His daycare, on the other hand, is feeling the most effects of his behavior. He's picked up the biting habit - again. He throw toys, fits and is known for spitting on kids and teachers. He has even been caught trying to strangle a couple of other children.

Since he has such a violent nature, we work very hard to keep a calm and structured home, we monitor closely what Ethan watches on tv and in movies, we keep close tabs on him when he's with peers and friends, and we're even careful with the books that we read to him.

I was asked if we had considered homeschooling. I would absolutely love to be a SAHM and homeschool my little guy but at this point in time, I can't see that happening. We have looked into private schools for children with behavioral disorders but they start out at $15,ooo per year and aren't anywhere close to where we live.

We've come up with a solution that looks like it will work, we'll just have to wait and see though. For now, we're just praising the Lord for this little guy and asking Him to bless us as we try to raise him to walk in His ways.