Finally, it feels like we're making some progress!
As you all know Ethan is a strong-willed little guy and sometimes it's hard to figure out how to deal with him. We've tried every reasonable tip under the sun at least once and nothing has seemed to work - till now!
We have tried clearly laying out rules and consequences for him a few hundred times. This weekend we decided to try it again - AND IT'S WORKING! He is actually getting it and seems to be understanding how his actions lead to consequences.
Just the other day I told him to do something and he yelled "NO MOMMA" right back at me so I stopped him and said "E, you broke a rule. What rule did you break?" "I said mean word." He replied. I said to him "That's right, now what happens if you say a mean word?" "I go to corner...I'm sowwy, momma." I couldn't help but smile a little and I said to him "Thank you for saying sorry but the rules say you have to go to time out for saying a mean word." You have no idea how excited I am that this is working, so far!
Here is what our rule sheet looks like:
RULES
1. Do what Daddy and Mommy say
2. No mean words
3. No lying
4. No tearing things up
5. No hitting, kicking, pinching, biting or spitting (isn't it sad that we have a rule for spitting?)
CONSEQUENCES
1. Time out in the corner
2. Time out in bed
3. Spanking
By the time we get to time out in bed he's pretty worn out from throwing a fit and rarely does he make it into the spanking route. While we hate to give spankings they seem to be the one thing that works in spot number three. Taking away toys and privileges don't work for him - yet. We can't wait for the day they do! I remember when I was in high school and I was cursed with the worst acne EVER and my mom would ground me from my make-up. Oh man, you might as well have killed me. Pretty creative on her part though.
What's the most creative consequence you were given or you have given?
4 comments:
Mine has to be having to pick up every stick in the front yard. I think it was because I snuck out to play with some kids when I was supposed to clean my room. So my mom made me do this in the front yard to see all the kids playing.
My friend's child also doesn't respond to having things taken away. He now has had his BED taken away and doesn't seem to mind one bit.
I am so bad at coming up with consequences besides time outs but I do need to get better at it!
It is good your son is recognizing what he did and saying sorry. Be thankful for that!!
I was recently in a life skills workshop for the teen mother group I work with and the expert said there should only be three rules in the house. No hurting yourself, no hurting others and no hurting stuff. I personally think there are a few others!
You are so lucky! I'm pretty sure my house rules and consequences are about 5 pages typed. My son is so black/white that everything has to be meticulously detailed or he'll find the loophole.
I read your post about the possible pregnancy. I will remember your family in my prayers.
I think I may have sent a comment more than once. Sorry! To see the worst punishment I've ever given or received, go here:
http://elisebarnette.wordpress.com/2006/10/21/punishment-justified-or-not-continued/
I feel your pain!
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